Sunday, January 10, 2010


Entrance to Hell in San Francisco #507

This deserted homeless camp at Florida and Treat Streets bears silent witness to the terrible tragedy that occurred on a bitterly cold night shortly before New Years' Eve. It appears from the painted graffitti that Maledetto, a minor demon of the Fourteenth Circle assigned as a consultant to the CIA on torture research, emerged from Hell on a short break from his duties and headed to the local 711 for a takeout of hot coffee, a couple Krispy Kreme donuts, and a carton of Marlboros.

Attracted to the heat emanating from the tunnel, which is now boarded over with heavy plywood as indicated in the picture above, a group of residentially-challenged persons crawled into the passageway to get warm. Needless to say they have not been seen since, having fallen the unwilling victims to Maledetto's unrelenting savagery and mercilessly sadistic proclivities.


WARNING! Although it may seem superfluous to state the obvious, entrances to Hell in San Francisco are extremely dangerous and should be approached only with the greatest caution. Obvious signs include a horrible stench, escaping clouds or wisps of smoke, and lit cinders glowing before a sealed entrance or gateway.

If you suspect an entrance to Hell in your neighborhood, we urgently recommend that you report it to us for our immediate inspection and professional evaluation. Please report your discovery to, if possible with an accompanying jpeg, and we will dispatch a team of experts to initiate any actions that may be required.

1 comment:

  1. I am beginning to wonder about your ability to spot all these entrances to Hell. I wonder if you you have some sort of secret connection?